Seriously.

What is about love that makes us want to talk about it so much? I’ll tell you. It’s that it sucks. But since Valentine's Day, the ultimate lover’s momento, is coming right up, don't worry. This piece gets happier.

I have a friend who is currently facing the only thing more detrimental to the human soul than Sam watching Frodo join Gandalf & Co. on the white ships—a break up. So when I asked him to sum up love in two words or less, he replied, “It sucks.” Wanna know something? I agree with him. But I’m not being fair. I gave him a two-word limit, which probably isn’t enough to adequately express one’s feelings about the world’s greatest emotion. But how many words does it take? Five? Ten? Ten thousand? I gave him a two-word limit because, if you think about it, there really aren’t any words that can truly translate an emotion into mere language—particularly an emotion like love. But, I decided to let him try anyway—no word limits—and you know what he said? “It’s good while it lasts.”  

I’ve been in love. I know I have, because love is something that changes you, and irrevocably so. You are one person before you love someone, and then you’re suddenly someone else. That’s why I think people often compare love to drugs, though I’ve never really done drugs, so I can’t be certain (but I think Ke$ha’s word is dependable enough to go off of).

When you love someone, you know because you’re willing to do anything for that person at any time no matter what—no matter how much it’s going to hurt, no matter how much it’s going to cost, and you’re willing do whatever that thing is even if you know the person you’re doing it for would never do it for you. And if we’re being honest, that’s usually how it works.

Sure, Noah Calhoun never leaves Allie’s side despite her degenerative mind disease. Sure, Landon Carter falls unexpectedly in love with Jamie Sullivan even though he knows she is probably going to die of cancer. And how could we even mention the word “love,” without talking about Rhett Butler’s undying loyalty toward the southern bell, Scarlett O’Hara, who never appreciates his dedication until it’s too late? Movies, particularly corny chick flicks (though Gone With the Wind is far from corny—in fact, I’d venture to propose it as one of the greatest stories of all time), are masterfully designed to articulate the aspect of love that we’re all too familiar with: undying devotion.

So, how many of you have been caught in that trap? I’m raising my hand high, because it’s happened to me, and shamefully more than once. Most of the time, I’ve seen it coming. That whole, “I know they’ll never feel the same way, but I will love them anyway” thing. We do that too much, don’t you think? As humans, we somehow justify the pain we put ourselves through on behalf of someone we care about, and we let ourselves get away with it.  

But life is too short to surround ourselves with people—with anyone—who aren’t aware of the greatness that we are.  I guess I’m saying that we can’t be afraid to give ourselves everything we’ve ever wanted from life.

The author of one of my favorite books wrote, “that the great stories go to those you don’t give in to fear.” He went on to say this:

“I was watching the movie Star Wars recently and wondered what made that movie so good. Of course, there are a thousand reasons. But I also noticed that if I paused the DVD on any frame, I could point toward any major character and say exactly what that person wanted. No character had a vague ambition. It made me wonder if the reasons our lives seem so muddled is because we keep walking into scenes in which we, along with the people around us, have no clear idea what we want.”

If you love someone, tell them. Tell them, and if they can’t return that love, accept that you’re life is going to better without them. Don’t wait around for someone who can’t return your love, because life is too short. Even though it has taken me years to figure it out, I think I finally get it, and it’s simple.

Every minute of every day, people are falling in love, or making lasting friendships, or getting married, or raising children, and it’s true: Love makes the world go ‘round. And every day, thousands of people are making and spending millions of dollars in an effort to define love. But whether you use five words or five hundred words, the fact is, “It’s good while it lasts.” So have the ambition to find it, the strength to call it a day when it’s not right, and the devotion to make it last when it is. I think that’s called, “being happy.” Which is the point, right?